Don’t fall into the ‘I’ll Be Happy When . . .” trap

Have you ever been victim to the “I’ll be happy when . . .” syndrome?  It’s the elusive notion that contentment lies just beyond the next accomplishment or life milestone.

In our fast-paced, achievement-driven world, it’s not uncommon to fall into the trap of thinking “I’ll be happy when … (fill in the blank).”  Whether it’s landing a dream job, getting that longed-for promotion, or achieving a specific goal, many people believe happiness is a destination rather than a journey.

This mindset is built on the illusion that external achievements or circumstances hold the key to our happiness. It suggests happiness is tangible rather than a state of being. This perspective keeps us in a perpetual state of waiting, postponing happiness until a future event occurs. Unfortunately, this constant pursuit of something better just around the corner often results in a life of constantly reaching but never feeling fully satisfied.

I can relate to this concept because throughout much of my journey, I’ve had that little voice saying “just one more goal,” “just one more promotion,” “just one more client,” “just one more . . .” Part of that is attributed to my hyper-achiever drive. I can struggle with stopping to smell the roses because I’m so focused on conquering the mountain.

And while ambition and drive can be a wonderful trait, like anything else, a strength taken to an extreme becomes a weakness. If this sounds alarmingly familiar, it’s time to throttle down and create a new framework. And this mindset isn’t only for high-powered executives.  Employees at every level of an organization can struggle with enjoying the journey.

In order to break free from this place of conditional happiness, there are several techniques to help you be happy in the here and now. As a leader, help employees achieve a better mental balance by modeling and encouraging the use of these techniques.

Practice gratitude

Cultivating a habit of gratitude involves recognizing and appreciating the positive aspects of life, even in challenging circumstances. Keep a gratitude journal or simply take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for.

Invest in experiences

By creating memorable experiences that bring joy, we relive the happiness boost every time we remember. Author Daniel Gilbert said “A new car sticks around to disappoint you. But a trip to Europe is over. It evaporates. It has the good sense to go away, and you are left with nothing but a wonderful memory.”

Practice savoring

Pause to step outside of a situation to review and appreciate it. If you purchased a new car, take time to appreciate the smell of the leather seats, or the feel of the steering wheel.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness encourages us to be fully present in the current moment. Slow down and intentionally focus on what you are doing and who you are with which fills your soul.

The “I’ll be happy when . . .” syndrome is a common trap which hinders us from experiencing genuine happiness in the present. And life is too short.

By recognizing the illusion of future happiness, understanding the limitations of external achievements, and embracing practices like gratitude, experiences, savoring and mindfulness, you can break free from this limiting mindset and cultivate lasting happiness today.  Because ultimately, happiness is not a destination. It is a journey unfolding in the here and now.

Joni S. Naugle is the founder and president of Naugle Associates LLC, Reading, where she works with clients on leadership, strategy and organizational effectiveness. She leads executive peer groups through an alliance with Vistage Worldwide.